Friday, July 30, 2010

A Horror Story

Oh My Gosh! This story gets gross so if reading about poop grosses you out. Don't read!

I took my van in to get new tires. They told me it would be around 2 hours. Their shop is by a strip mall that has a Kmart, pet store and several other stores plus a Burger King in that same lot. I figured we would hit Kmart to return something, maybe the pet store and then off to BK to play and hit while we wait.

Last week we were at Kmart because they had some cool shirts in their ad for $4. The shirts were Mario! They had other character shirts as well. So we go buy several $4 shirts plus some some shorts for Max. The shorts were $6 so not a huge sale but he is kinda hard to buy shorts/pants for so I got a few. Well some did not fit him so I returned those that day. But the fun had not even started yet....

Max decided he was way too cool to be seen with us and decided to run off. He used to be the worst at running off but really doesn't do it anymore. And even when he does run off now he stays close and keeps an eye out for me. He tries to guess what isle I will go down then run down another isle trying to beat me to the end. Today we was all over the place. He wasn't staying that close. I needed some light bulbs so went there first. Max never found us there. The light bulbs are kinda stuck back in a far corner. I kinda think "screw it, he will find us" and go towards the underwear section. I'm looking at undies when Max reappears. He pokes his head around the corner and smiles as if to say, "HA! I found you!" I inform him he is now in trouble and will be spending time in his room once we get home and that he is to stay by my side the rest of the trip.

Sam and Joe are peeking around at him and then say, "what smells like poop!?" Then Joe announces Max has poop on his leg. WHAT? Oh my goodness, does he ever! I look at him and about die. He has been running around Kmart for people to see and he has poop ALL over his leg. Not just a little poop either. He obviously had diarrhea and it was ALL over the back of him, down his shorts leg, down his leg and on both shoes! The smell could have knocked someone over. I think about what the heck I'm gonna do. I'm in Kmart, my car is across a parking lot (well, more like behind Kmart), I have no extra clothes with me and I have a child covered in poop.

I do keep extra clothes in the car for each child. However I used Max's last week b/c the car ride to Columbia to visit my sister and a large soda from McD don't mix too well for Max. Once there I realized his extra clothes were a tad bit small anyway. I had to use lots of muscle to get those shorts up!

Think. Go pick out new shorts, pay for them then hit the bathroom. Max waddles over with me to get shorts. I try to hide his shame by walking behind him and staying far away from people. Guess what? The shorts I bought last week for $6 are now on sale and cost less than $3. I pick out 2 pairs and he waddles back towards the bathroom. I tell him to go in there and wait for me, "do not touch anything!" I pay for 1 pair of shorts at electronics, which is right outside the bathrooms. $2.60 later I open the bathroom door. Max has taken his clothes off, thrown them in the floor, sitting on the toilet with poop everywhere and the bathroom stall door opened. If anyone would have opened the bathroom door they would have gone running and screaming away in horror. I attempt to clean max up. It was a very messy job! Luckily (if that's what you want to call it!) for me, there was a huge roll of bathroom paper towels sitting in there. I was able to use lots of those and got most of him cleaned up. Never have a wanted a shower stall so badly!

We finish up in Kmart and finally leave an hour after we arrived! We go visit the pet store. The kids LOVE this pet store. They got to hold all sorts of pets. We spent another hour in there. Yes, an hour! The mechanic called and said my car was done. We walked back over paid and left. They kids still wanted to play in BK so we went there to eat and play.

We order, sit down, take Ike to the bathroom, play. Max played for less than 5 minutes and guess what? he crapped himself again. This time he was commando though. BUT, nothing fell out, thank God! It was more of a squirt. I know, you're glad I shared that. I tell the other kids to start finding their shoes. We were the only ones there by the way. I am glad I picked out 2 shorts at Kmart though!

When we finally get home he goes straight to the shower. He stank! Then went to his room for running off at the store. Where he fell asleep.

What a "stinky" kind of day!


Kim said...

That stinks....literally. (heehee)
I remember when my middle one had a tummy ache and the same thing happened. We were on vacation and had gone to walmart. Thank goodness it was there. They had everything we needed to clean her up and change into fresh clothes.

Sharon said...

Oh boy, what a day! Hope Max is feeling better soon.

The Munck Family said...

OK, not sure if that's a poor Max or Poor Mom story! Can we say not fun!! Yep, the joys of motherhood...the good and the bad!

Debbie @ Three Weddings said...

First, I think I know what Kmart/BK you are talking about. I'm not going there again! J.K.

Second, I think I could compete with your poop stories, but in then end, you win.

Third, Uhm, you were at kmart, why didn't you buy some baby wipes, too?

Thanks for the laugh at your expense. Poor you and poor Max!